Bathed in Dragonfire

Falkirk is a fool for thinking that I was loyal to him. I haven’t been loyal to him since that gods forsaken cat woman killed my parents for trying to leave. My parents and his crew taught me my skills well, probably a little too well to be honest. Lying, cheating and stealing are second nature to me, just like my magic. I can assure you that Falkirk wont even notice what I have taken until its already too late.


When Falkirk sent me along with some of the lesser crew of his armada to take the Hallowed Hand I wondered if he was setting me up for a trap or he really was that trusting of my supposed loyalty. With the ship secured for Falkirk, I took my chance and began securing it for their escape. With the crew awaiting orders in the ‘captains quarters’, if they could really be described as such, I began to work my magic, casting a spell of sleep over them.

Once the crew were out I began casting a more dangerous spell. These people were not innocents, so I felt not regret in what I did, holding one hand on their mouth, I moved my mouth to their where there hearts would be and breathed a bolt of fire directly to their heart. The heat from a firebolt is at its most intense near its source, at this range there is no chance of survival, especially from someone who is as open to a coup de grace like these. I’ll be honest, there are few smells that appeal to me as much as scorched flesh. One by one the crew fall by my hand, and one by one I throw them overboard and wait. If Falkirk’s plan succeeds then I will just lie, like I always do, if the crew of the Hallowed Hand escape with their ship then I have opened their way to freedom.


Its official, these guys are fucking idiots. I wasn’t even hiding, but they didn’t even notice I was on their ship until we had been sailing for almost an hour, and even then it was the elf ‘cabin boy’ that spotted me. Luckily my charismatic personality, and the prospect of messing with Falkirk appealed to them to let my stay and to join me on the quest I had been working on for two months.

Back before my parents were killed, I overheard a discussion between Falkirk and his most loyal crew, where Falkirk mentioned a raven figurine that held great importance to one of the crew not present and that it was being kept safe by Lord Barrister on his private island. Skip forward to last year and Falkirk decided to attend one of Lord Barrister’s lavish parties along with some of the more higher ranked crew. I got one of them drunk on Dwarven Ale and managed to get a map from them and a copy of their invitation. With the next party coming up I started to forge a few copies of the invitation and the map.

After telling them about the party and the fact that Barrister was incredibly rich, they leapt at the chance to aid me in the quest of stealing the figurine and using it against Falkirk.


We are four days from the party and we have finally got our plan together. Two of the crew are going to use some enchanted masks to hide their natural forms and several weapons within the enchantment, the other two are going to try and get in with their weapons on display as ornamental. Because of one of my several roles within Falkirk’s crew I have the easiest task. Most high society people know of my alter ego, ‘Countess Drana Nocturne’, a raven haired half elf sorceress, who owns several islands a months sail from here. At least that’s what they think, the name is a façade used by myself when Falkirk needed someone of high social standing to be spied on. Wearing a small bandoleer around my thigh I could hide my daggers and an arcane rod upon my person and not arouse suspicion. Getting the others to learn how to speak on the other hand was a bit of a challenge, especially as the gnome, who was now a female human wouldn’t stop playing with himself.


I cant believe we actually pulled it off. There were so many times where I was sure that one of the others would let the façade fall before it all came crashing down. First the dwarf who up until an hour before we arrived had spent his time near naked, lost his spear cause he thought that he could hide the spear point under a potato and call it a quarterstaff. That guy is seriously about twelve buns short of a bakers dozen.

Then the half elf who thinks himself to be a bard fails spectacularly and ended up killing everyone in the ballroom as a distraction whilst we are upstairs checking other rooms. Realising we have to do it now we start to rush back into the room that held the figurine and began to loot it. It was then that we noticed that the figurine and its stand were an illusion. Recognising this sort of magic I immediately ran downstairs into what had been called the oil room. It was definitely a fitting name, I actually got a little distracted by all the naked bodies writhing against each other. But I knew that this was more important.

With myself also covered in some oil I chose not to use any fire attacks as much as I wanted to, instead I fired rays of frost towards the black box on the ceiling. the cold reacted with the damp atmosphere, weakening the roof above me. Soon the roof fell in, crushing all those bodies in the pit below. It was a shame, but once again there were no innocents in there, we had seen what else was happening at this party and even I felt it was a little too far. Picking up the figurine, which somehow survived, me and the half elf made our way outside. Not before I sent one of the remaining guards to sleep and threw him down the hole that had once been the floor of the atrium.

I’ll be honest, I only have one real regret about what happened. I didn’t get to use any fire spells. Ah well, I’ll just have to make do with throwing ‘depth charges’ to catch fish.

Bathed in Dragonfire

Aquilluis Dawns TheLaughingMan